Too Long Didn't Read version: Bloody hell, this is a disaster, plus bonus Alex Salmond abuse!
And so the inevitable has happened, the transfer embargo was in place stopping me signing any new players, but not before a little shoring up of the right-back position in Tony Gallagher, who can also slot in in the centre of defence. His tackling of 13 is also high in comparison to the squad.
A miracle happened in preseason as double cup winners Hearts asked us for a friendly at our patch, and despite getting totally outclassed we eked out a 1-0 win! Celtic also wanted a friendly, that didn't go quite as well as a 7-0 drubbing resulted. Still, could have been worse, the fans were only slightly concerned at the result and the turnstiles are still clicking over from the capacity crowd that crammed Balmoor.
And just as quickly as the transfer embargo was put in place, it was lifted. There was a bit of a dispute about the club valuation and as a result the deal fell through. Good news for job security, bad news for my coaching qualifications! Except the transfer embargo came in again as another party wanted control of the club, and it was quite a protracted affair. Still, this time it went through and with it the club's finances were a little healthier but again I couldn't go on a coaching course because I was needed on the training ground. No worries, I'll ask for another coach. No can do on that as the board didn't have enough confidence in me.
That, in part, was due to a catastrophic start to the season. The team was, as ever, understrength but without the transfer window being open for me for much of the time my targets went elsewhere. Despite that preseason form, the league went to the dogs. Especially galling was protecting a narrow 1-0 lead with a couple of minutes to go, only to lose the match in injury time. That was followed by losing the very next match in injury time too. 6 points turned to 0 thanks to an abject lack of concentration.
No prizes for guessing who we drew in the Scottish Cup third round. That's right, our cup nemesis Turriff United of the Oh God Leave Us Alone league. The results were predictable, and meant we failed to reach expectations.
Now, in the league expectations are of a top half finish. That was ambitious at best seeing as in the past 3 years our best finish was 7th. But here we are, rock bottom with 13 points and a board confidence of 41%. I'm not sure how much longer I will be staying in this job. Maybe if I have another go at this Donald Trump challenge I'll start with better coaching qualifications! Still, there's hope, so 30 points in 18 games is my target, let's see how far we can go.
Addendum: I didn't stay much longer at all. The board wanted to know why the team was so crap, I asked for more time to sort it out. Despite starting to go on a run of good form we couldn't climb any higher than 9th in the league and that was that. Game over. Will I have another go? Well, I lasted a couple of seasons longer than last time so maybe I will. The coaching qualifications problem is a huge one. That isn't part of the challenge, so I think starting with better qualifications is okay. Donald Trump went into Aberdeenshire with both the reputation and experience so why not be high profile? Make the chairman more amenable via the editor? Well, Alex Salmond showed himself to be the gullible power-crazed starstruck billionaire-loving nature-hating moron he is by allowing Trump to ride completely roughshod over his own constituents and the local council then refuse to explain himself in a manner that any reasonable person would, but I would like to have some sort of integrity so no, no editing the chairman. Attempt 3 will come, but not just yet.
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